The Jewish Defense League is very concerned about you, Mel. Doubtlessly you're aware of the considerable resentment you stirred up over your drunk driving tirade against the "fuckin' Jews" who "are responsible for all the wars in the world." You have prompted a nearly unanimous response from the Jewish community: You have officially been branded a Jew-hater, even by Jews who once took up your banner in response to the earlier allegations. Since that embarrassing slip up, you've issued two apologies, the second of which addresses the Jewish people directly. Your handlers obviously made you issue the second apology, but that's an ancillary point. The big problem is, Mel, your apologies are not convincing. They simply do not ring true. And in our eyes, all the false apologies and vehement denials of your true beliefs do a greater disservice to the Jewish community than if you were to simply confess proudly to those reprehensible views. Indeed, we would have greater respect for you if you were honest about hating us.

It's a well known truth that when alcohol goes in, true feelings pour forth, and our founder, Rabbi Meir Kahane, taught that that's especially true in regard to Jew-haters. Of course, even if the public had not been informed of the particulars relating to your arrest, your Jew-hatred was evident to many long before this episode. Despite your strong assertions to the contrary, we were not fooled by your ode to Jew-hatred, The Passion. You made a film version of the archaic, Jew-hating passion plays that inspired pogroms across Europe wherever they were produced. Did you think your denials had any credibility?

But although the circumstantial evidence of The Passion is sufficiently compelling to certify you as a Jew-hater, it's your relationship with your father Hutton that closes the case against you. You've stated publicly that your father has never told you a lie, so presumably you've swallowed his Holocaust-denial propaganda as truth. Apparently you believe your father's absurd contention that Six Million Jews weren't murdered (because the nazis lacked the capacity to do so), and instead the Holocaust victims magically materialized in New York and Los Angeles. You seem to concur with his contention that Holocaust museums exist because they represent an "irresistible opportunity to make money" for their Jewish operators. We are also left to assume that you agree Jews never do hard work. Moreover, you share your father's "Traditional Catholicism" faith, the salient feature of which is the repudiation of the Nostra Aetate - the 1965 Vatican edict that absolved Jews of deicide. Therefore, you have to believe the Jews killed your savior. When you were pressed about your father's hatred in an interview aired around the release of The Passion, you refused to renounce any of his views. With a father like that, it's no surprise that you, as a dutiful son, would be a Jew-hater. (To avoid any confusion, readers should note that we are referring to the "Traditional Catholicism" sect specifically, not to normative Catholicism.) You are undeniably your father's son, Mel. But it's not too late to repent and prevent the transmission to your children of your father's ignorance and senseless enmity of the Jew.

Mel, the Jewish Defense League suggests two courses of action for you. If you wish to be a Jew-hater, come out and forthrightly articulate your true beliefs. There is no need to conceal these beliefs from Hollywood for fear of offending Hollywood Jews, since you've thoroughly ruined your reputation among them anyway.

Alternatively, you could sincerely seek help for your problems. Alcohol abuse is a serious problem; we are aware of two drugs – Antabuse® (disulfiram) and Temposil® (citrated calcium carbimide) – that, when used as directed, can help you stop your alcohol abuse. On the other hand, no pharmaceutical currently exists to cure one's hatred of the Jewish people. However, we know many wonderful psychologists and rabbis who can work with you – and your children – to compensate for the brainwashing you've been subjected to in your first 50 years of life. We cannot stress enough that you must include your children in such therapy, as they, too, have most likely been indoctrinated to accept the same historical falsehoods, unbridled prejudice and needless hatred of the Jewish people. We think there is a good chance that you are fundamentally a good person, Mel, and if you are ready to change your ways we will be in your corner. Let us know.