When the phone rang today at 7:45 a.m., I had thought it might be someone else, but to my great sorrow I was to find out differently. Shelley Rubin, the wife of JDL leader was on the line to tell me that Irv Rubin had passed away during the night. I started to tremble, visions of my memories of Irv came flooding back, tears, anger, regret, a whole panoply of emotions came to the surface. Shelley was quite naturally bereaved but holding up.

We all know that death is a part of life, however the tragic way that Irv Rubin's life was cut so short is one that deserves close examination. The question cries out: WHO MURDERED IRV RUBIN? Irv Rubin was the chairman of the Jewish Defense League, who had devoted his life to the pursuit of Jewish rights, who feared no man and confronted Jew haters of all stripes. Since 1970, Irv's raison d'etre was to defend Jews worldwide and indeed he had the courage to speak the truth, despite the slings and arrows that were shot his way by the Jewish establishment, his sworn enemies and the government of the United States.

On December 11, 2001 Irv Rubin and Earl Krugel were arrested by the federal government on charges of conspiring to blow up the King Fahd mosque in Los Angeles as well the office of Arab congressman, Darryl Issa. In the fascist frenzy that followed 9/11 the government had been hell-bent on proving how even-handed they could be. After all, they were rounding up suspected Al Qaeda members all across the country while President Bush kept repeating to us that this was not a war on Islam or Arab Americans.

It didn't take long before the federal government came up with the perfect scapegoat to appease the Arab/Islamic lobby. There was one special person they had been trying to get rid of for years. Irv Rubin, that pesky Jewish militant out in Los Angeles would be the focus of their energies.

One problem remained, however. Irv Rubin was not a criminal and did not engage in criminal activities. He was never convicted of a crime, never spent any time in prison, and that significant hurdle would have to be overcome by the FBI. They did a little homework and came up with a perfect accomplice. Some 22-year-old punk named Danny Gillis who had a rap sheet a mile long would fit the bill. They sent this guy in wired to Irv and his long time associate Earl Krugel, with bombing proposals. Irv's voice was only on a few of the tapes, and according to his lawyers he said nothing that could be construed as conspiring to perform a criminal act. Nonetheless, the Feds pressed on, figuring that Rubin and Krugel would just be swept up by 9/11 hysteria and that anyone who was arrested by the US government as a terrorist would easily be convicted by a jury.

Irv and I corresponded on a regular basis during his incarceration at the Metropolitan Detention Center in Los Angeles. He was there because the judge assigned to his case took his orders from Uncle Sam and decided to revoke Irv and Earl's constitutional right to bail, claiming that they were flight risks and dangers to the community.

Irv's letters to me smacked of his resolve to have himself vindicated in a court of law. He knew he was innocent of the charges leveled against him and wanted the world to see him exonerated. Yes, prison life is rough on anyone, and Irv was not a happy camper in prison, yet it is my firm and unwavering belief that Irv Rubin did not commit suicide in prison, as the media and the FBI and the prison authorities would have you believe.

The authorities have told the public that on the morning of November 4, 2002 -- the very morning Irv Rubin was to appear in court -- he took a disposable razor and began slashing his throat, then hurled himself over a perch or balcony, falling 18 feet on to a concrete surface. Now, isn't that just a bit interesting and coincidental.

We all know that Irv was a high profile prisoner. We all know that a lot of people wanted Irv Rubin dead. When Irv's attorneys and his wife demanded a full and independent investigation of what occurred that fateful day in prison, the FBI alleged it interviewed fifteen witnesses who swore that Irv's injuries were self-inflicted. And who, pray tell, did they allegedly interview? Other inmates and prison guards. So much for highly credible witnesses who come complete with stellar references. Pillars of our community, men of the highest moral character! And to add insult on top of injury, when the Federal Bureau of Prisons was asked to turn over the videotapes of what occurred, they flatly stated that no videotapes existed. Now, isn't that interesting? In a prison where you can't walk two feet without having yourself taped, suddenly they did not have video cameras or tapes of that particular moment.

Please know that the legacy of Irv Rubin will not be that of a man who attempted suicide and succeeded. Not as long as we all have a voice to speak, a pen to write with and feet to demonstrate with.

Irv Rubin was above all my good and close friend for over 20 years. I first met Irv in the late 1970s when he visited New York City on JDL business. I'll always remember his warmth, his passion and zeal for his people, his complete and utter devotion to JDL and his sincere and heartfelt sensitivity to Jewish suffering. I knew a man who did not possess any fear of his enemies, and believe me, they were quite numerous and also very vocal. Irv never cowered in fear of any enemies -- be they Nazis, skinheads, Holocaust Revisionists, the KKK, the former Soviet Union, Arab terrorists and even segments of his own people.

Irv never retreated from his righteous position; Irv stood firm and stared his enemies in the face. That was Irv Rubin. A man who only feared G-d and not man. A man who never batted an eyelash about getting in the middle of a confrontation with all sorts of white supremacists, and who never was reluctant to bring issues before a court of law, to use the courts and legal system to fight battles. He was indeed a lonely voice in the wilderness, shouting out the truth in spite of the consequences. A man who exemplified true "intestinal fortitude" as he would say. Guts, bravery, courage, devotion and unbounding love of his people, his family, his friends. A man whose legacy will be the complete and total embodiment of Ahavat Israel. Love of the Jewish people, love of the land of Israel, love of the G-d of Israel. Irv was a proud Zionist, even when Vanessa Redgrave called him a "Zionist hoodlum." Irv was a proud Jew even when the Nazis threatened to make him in to a lampshade. That was Irv Rubin.

I'll always remember the places Irv and I demonstrated for Jewish causes together. Whether it be San Francisco in 1984, protesting Jesse Jackson's prominent role in the Democratic convention after he called Jews "Hymies" and embraced Yassir Arafat; whether it be in Teaneck, NJ protesting a Jew hating City College professor; whether it be in Oslo, Norway protesting the suicidal Israeli-Arab peace plan, Irv Rubin was fearlessly there.

I'll miss my good friend Irv, who always referred to me as his "other sister". I'll miss his visits to me in Brooklyn and my visits to him in Los Angeles. I'll miss our long and sometimes heated long telephone conversations. I'll miss his loving and caring nature, but most of all I mourn the loss of a beloved husband and father, and I mourn the loss for the Jewish people, who have lost the last of the great Jewish warriors.

Today is a dark day in Jewish history. Today we lost a true Jewish hero. A giant among men, a larger than life figure that will remain in our hearts and minds forever. Please G-d, Jewish history will record all the noble deeds of Irv Rubin. If our children ask us to describe the concept of Ahavat Israel, if our children will ask us to describe the true meaning of Jewish activism, if they will ask us about the heroes of our people, we need only to point to the living legacy of Irv Rubin.

Goodbye my friend, Irv. You are sorely, sorely missed. Until we meet again, let's keep those two famous words on our lips, "NEVER AGAIN." May your precious neshoma have an aliya in Gan Eden and may your special soul be bound for eternal life.

Your friend, Fern

Ms. Sidman served as JDL's national director from 1983 to 1985.